hi people. i'm back again, telling you yet another chapter of my life. it is odd, isn't it, that the chapters of my life are spaced apart so far. i tried to put my thoughts into words last week, only to find that the words just would not flow. even now, i hesistate before i type down the next lines, because i simply don't know what to say. there must be a million thoughts swirling around and around in my brain, but everytime i try to catch hold of them, they dart away.
is this going to be an angsty post, you ask. my answer is no. maybe i'm just pouring out what i feel from the multitude of emotions inside my heart. isn't it ironic, i wonder, to feel lonely even among a group of friends? this is not a new emotion, but sometimes i can't help but feel like i've been abandoned. am i just being too sensitive? only i can answer that question. who are we, really? who am I? it does not surprise me in the least to say that i do not know. i used to climb all the way to the highest floor in school, and just stand there, soaking in the warmth of the sun, and the feel of the wind as it blew through my hair. and then, taking in a good breath, i would sing. sing with all my heart and soul, and pour out my aches and pains. free therapy.
well, the choir concert is over now, and i must return to my mundane life of study and lessons and friendships in university. University. what a big word that is. i never thought i would make it here. whether it's me being brutually honest with my own lack of high intelligence, or simply lack of faith in my abilities , i do not know any longer. what is important is that i actually made it.
I am just grateful that my God has been with me all this while. I do not think i would have made it through last week without him, when i was so busy, and was bombarded with tons of different emotions at the same time. now that i have to make decisions on my own, it is so good to have a stalwart shoulder to lean on.
i have my music. i have my sunday school. i have my friends. i have my schoolwork and readings. i have my family. and most of all, i have my God. who will never abandon me. NEVER.