hey... was just reading William Blake for one of my university classes today. it suddenly struck me: how strange it is that i chose to study Literature as my major, instead of something that could be a little more practical. Literature is a part of the humanities and social science, and its practical uses are broad and far-reaching. In terms of economics, it wouldn't be very useful, but i guess it would be useful in the social sense.
It's just funny to me, because when I was 15 and trying to decide whether i should study pure geography or pure literature, i chose the latter reasons, that until today i do not know. Whether it is because I'm a more sensitive soul or because i simply didn't want to study more about rivers, i still chose literature. it did pay off because i ended up with an 'A' for my O levels in literature. now, 4 years later, i look back upon those days that seem so long ago. was i ever that young and insecure about my future, about where i belonged? people often marvel at my insanity at rejecting NUS FASS for NTU HSS. am I insane? did i make the right choice? i still think i did.
it was certainly startling to hear a government minister say that English Literature has little future in Singapore. this may be simply paraphrased, but it fills me with a sense of unease and outrage. how can this be? my course-mates and i go against all sense and proper direction and we choose to study a course that we love. Listening to the dialogue session yesterday, i was sad to hear that we could be sidelined from the new economy, because our skills have no particular economic value. analysing documents will not get one very far in this world. is there going to be a place for me? where do i belong? or i am going to be just pushed to the more societal side, not regarded as particularly important? this is the time to raise awareness about Literature. to let people know that our skills are just as valuable as those of the engineers, the mathematicians, the business people. to let them know, that we are the ones presenting the face of the country to the world, through our writings and thoughts. can a Singaporean win the nobel prize for Literature in the next 10 years? i don't know. but what i do know, is that Singapore Literature and culture is growing, and one day, we will reach that goal. meanwhile, i'll just stick with my plans to go into the civil service, shall i?
At night, i can hear the rain fall outside my hostel room window. rain always makes me feel nostalgic and brings an element of loneliness along with it. it's as though i envision myself walking in the rain, getting soaked through to my skin, and im dancing and laughing like a little child. but then, suddenly, it dawns on me that there is no one to share that innocent joy of dancing in the rain with me. this afternoon i walked in the rain back to my hostel room after lessons alone. i so much wanted to fling off my hoodie and just walk in rain. just wallow in the experience of being soaked through to the skin and enjoying it. but there was no one around to share it with me. everyone was hurrying by, and no one stopped to wonder at the rain, to marvel in it.
where are you, special someone? who will enjoy such simple pleasures with me? i don't ask for much: just walks on the beach at sunset, good conversation, someone who won't let me boss them around all the time, and who tells me when i'm being an ass. someone who takes religion and family seriously. someone who will always be with me. are you out there? well, until you appear, my mysterious special someone, i'll walk with my Lord Jesus. then the three of us will play in the rain together. and we'll always be together. always.
Wonder is a pause of reason...the effect of novelty upon ignorance -- Samuel Johnson